Bad Motherfucker $35-95

Type: tree | Size: small | Extends: Wallet
MODIFICATIONS
Credit Card
ID Badge
COMPONENTS (Wallet ROOTS)
Credit Card
ID Badge
PROBLEM

The standard wallet does not adequately communicate the owner's general disposition.

SOLUTION

The Bad Motherfucker is the MTREES embroidered identity declaration variant of the canonical Wallet platform, distinguished from the base model by three words stitched in gold thread on the exterior that serve simultaneously as a product name, a personal statement, and a warning to anyone considering reaching into the wrong pocket at the wrong time in a diner in Los Angeles. The embroidery is load-bearing. The embroidery is doing the work that the contents cannot do alone, because the contents are the same as any other wallet — a declining credit line, an expired gym membership, and seventeen dollars in cash that has been there since before the gym membership expired. The wallet was introduced to mainstream consumer consciousness by Jules Winnfield, who was in the process of having a theological experience at the time and whose endorsement the product team considers both unsolicited and definitive. The Bad Motherfucker is available in black. The Bad Motherfucker is only available in black. A request was made for other colorways. The request was reviewed. The answer was no.

components

The Credit Card is a 86 by 54 millimeter polycarbonate rectangle that converts future earnings into present purchasing power at the point of sale, enabling the acquisition of any product, service, or experience that accepts it, which is most of them. It does not ask whether the purchase is necessary. It does not ask whether this is a good time. It asks for a PIN or a tap and then it is done and the thing belongs to you and the conversation about whether it was a good idea happens later, in a different room, at a different time, when the statement arrives. The Credit Card is the preferred tool of anyone who has decided that having the thing now is worth the administrative overhead of having paid for it then. It works everywhere. It works fast. It does not judge. It does however remember, in the form of a line item, every single time, without exception, with the merchant name and the amount and the date, forever, or until the account is closed, whichever comes first.

Inspect

A laminated credential clipped to the body that communicates authorization, identity, and approximate rank within the organizational caste system. The ID Badge is the Medal of Honor of the corporate theater — coveted by those without one, taken for granted by those with one, and immediately weaponized by those with a colored stripe that means something the new hires have not yet decoded. Security is achieved by the badge existing. Whether the badge belongs to the person wearing it is a secondary concern the system has chosen not to prioritize. It can be lost, stolen, cloned, tailgated around, left on the roof of a car, or found in a parking lot and used for three weeks before anyone notices. Many desire it. Few carry it. The photo on it looks like no one.

Inspect
EXTENDS

The Wallet is the MTREES canonical currency and identity containment platform — a bi-fold or tri-fold rectangular substrate fabricated from leather, synthetic leather, or the material the manufacturer describes as leather without elaborating further. The Wallet holds cards, cash, and a loyalty program membership the operator joined under duress at a register in 2019 and has not used since but cannot bring themselves to remove because removing it would require a decision. The Wallet lives in a pocket. The Wallet is lost approximately twice per year and found in the same pocket it was always in, which is a different pocket than the one that was checked. Contents include: payment instruments of diminishing balance, identification documents bearing a photo taken during a period the operator does not discuss, a folded receipt that is not a record of anything important but cannot be thrown away until it is confirmed to not be a record of anything important, and exactly one card that does not belong to the operator and has been there long enough that returning it is no longer socially viable. The Wallet does not judge. The Wallet contains.

Inspect
Inputs
Outputs
TREE
AVAILABLE INPUTS
AVAILABLE OUTPUTS
Schema
                            {
    "id": "tree_wallet_bad_motherfucker",
    "name": "Bad Motherfucker",
    "type": "tree",
    "inputs": [],
    "outputs": [],
    "passthru": [],
    "children": [
        "comp_credit_card",
        "comp_id_badge"
    ],
    "extends": {
        "id": "tree_wallet",
        "name": "Wallet",
        "type": "tree",
        "inputs": [],
        "outputs": [],
        "passthru": [],
        "children": [
            {
                "id": "comp_credit_card",
                "name": "Credit Card",
                "type": "component",
                "inputs": [],
                "outputs": [],
                "passthru": [],
                "children": [],
                "tree": [],
                "extends": null,
                "problem": "Things cost money and the money is not here right now but the things are.",
                "description": "The Credit Card is a 86 by 54 millimeter polycarbonate rectangle that converts future earnings into present purchasing power at the point of sale, enabling the acquisition of any product, service, or experience that accepts it, which is most of them. It does not ask whether the purchase is necessary. It does not ask whether this is a good time. It asks for a PIN or a tap and then it is done and the thing belongs to you and the conversation about whether it was a good idea happens later, in a different room, at a different time, when the statement arrives. The Credit Card is the preferred tool of anyone who has decided that having the thing now is worth the administrative overhead of having paid for it then. It works everywhere. It works fast. It does not judge. It does however remember, in the form of a line item, every single time, without exception, with the merchant name and the amount and the date, forever, or until the account is closed, whichever comes first."
            },
            {
                "id": "comp_id_badge",
                "name": "ID Badge",
                "type": "component",
                "inputs": [],
                "outputs": [],
                "passthru": [],
                "children": [],
                "tree": [],
                "extends": null,
                "description": "A laminated credential clipped to the body that communicates authorization, identity, and approximate rank within the organizational caste system. The ID Badge is the Medal of Honor of the corporate theater \u2014 coveted by those without one, taken for granted by those with one, and immediately weaponized by those with a colored stripe that means something the new hires have not yet decoded. Security is achieved by the badge existing. Whether the badge belongs to the person wearing it is a secondary concern the system has chosen not to prioritize. It can be lost, stolen, cloned, tailgated around, left on the roof of a car, or found in a parking lot and used for three weeks before anyone notices. Many desire it. Few carry it. The photo on it looks like no one."
            }
        ],
        "tree": [
            {
                "id": "comp_credit_card",
                "name": "Credit Card",
                "type": "component",
                "inputs": [],
                "outputs": [],
                "passthru": [],
                "children": [],
                "tree": [],
                "extends": null,
                "problem": "Things cost money and the money is not here right now but the things are.",
                "description": "The Credit Card is a 86 by 54 millimeter polycarbonate rectangle that converts future earnings into present purchasing power at the point of sale, enabling the acquisition of any product, service, or experience that accepts it, which is most of them. It does not ask whether the purchase is necessary. It does not ask whether this is a good time. It asks for a PIN or a tap and then it is done and the thing belongs to you and the conversation about whether it was a good idea happens later, in a different room, at a different time, when the statement arrives. The Credit Card is the preferred tool of anyone who has decided that having the thing now is worth the administrative overhead of having paid for it then. It works everywhere. It works fast. It does not judge. It does however remember, in the form of a line item, every single time, without exception, with the merchant name and the amount and the date, forever, or until the account is closed, whichever comes first."
            },
            {
                "id": "comp_id_badge",
                "name": "ID Badge",
                "type": "component",
                "inputs": [],
                "outputs": [],
                "passthru": [],
                "children": [],
                "tree": [],
                "extends": null,
                "description": "A laminated credential clipped to the body that communicates authorization, identity, and approximate rank within the organizational caste system. The ID Badge is the Medal of Honor of the corporate theater \u2014 coveted by those without one, taken for granted by those with one, and immediately weaponized by those with a colored stripe that means something the new hires have not yet decoded. Security is achieved by the badge existing. Whether the badge belongs to the person wearing it is a secondary concern the system has chosen not to prioritize. It can be lost, stolen, cloned, tailgated around, left on the roof of a car, or found in a parking lot and used for three weeks before anyone notices. Many desire it. Few carry it. The photo on it looks like no one."
            }
        ],
        "extends": null,
        "price": "15-200",
        "size": "small",
        "problem": "The money needs somewhere to live.",
        "description": "The Wallet is the MTREES canonical currency and identity containment platform \u2014 a bi-fold or tri-fold rectangular substrate fabricated from leather, synthetic leather, or the material the manufacturer describes as leather without elaborating further. The Wallet holds cards, cash, and a loyalty program membership the operator joined under duress at a register in 2019 and has not used since but cannot bring themselves to remove because removing it would require a decision. The Wallet lives in a pocket. The Wallet is lost approximately twice per year and found in the same pocket it was always in, which is a different pocket than the one that was checked. Contents include: payment instruments of diminishing balance, identification documents bearing a photo taken during a period the operator does not discuss, a folded receipt that is not a record of anything important but cannot be thrown away until it is confirmed to not be a record of anything important, and exactly one card that does not belong to the operator and has been there long enough that returning it is no longer socially viable. The Wallet does not judge. The Wallet contains."
    },
    "price": "35-95",
    "size": "small",
    "problem": "The standard wallet does not adequately communicate the owner's general disposition.",
    "description": "The Bad Motherfucker is the MTREES embroidered identity declaration variant of the canonical Wallet platform, distinguished from the base model by three words stitched in gold thread on the exterior that serve simultaneously as a product name, a personal statement, and a warning to anyone considering reaching into the wrong pocket at the wrong time in a diner in Los Angeles. The embroidery is load-bearing. The embroidery is doing the work that the contents cannot do alone, because the contents are the same as any other wallet \u2014 a declining credit line, an expired gym membership, and seventeen dollars in cash that has been there since before the gym membership expired. The wallet was introduced to mainstream consumer consciousness by Jules Winnfield, who was in the process of having a theological experience at the time and whose endorsement the product team considers both unsolicited and definitive. The Bad Motherfucker is available in black. The Bad Motherfucker is only available in black. A request was made for other colorways. The request was reviewed. The answer was no.",
    "template": "tree"
}

Universe Alpha