Servedless

Type: tree
COMPONENTS
Giant Rock
Tiny Screen
Biometric Pad
Keypad
Door Anchor
Battery
WiFi
Form Library
PROBLEM

Eviction is a complicated legal process that does not feel complicated enough for the person being evicted.

SOLUTION

Servedless is a legal eviction enforcement boulder deployed directly in front of the former occupant's door. The rock does not move until every required form is completed in full. All 1000 of them. The interface is biometric for identity verification and features a fully manual fallback input method on the smallest legally permissible non-ADA compliant screen available in the known universe. Forms are fully customizable by the issuing municipality, landlord, or grudge holder. The rock is not sorry. The rock does not negotiate. The rock has been here longer than the lease.

components

A large igneous or sedimentary boulder of municipal-grade mass, precision-placed in front of a residential entry point via flatbed and crane. Immovable by hand. Immovable by argument. Immovable until the forms are done. Available in granite, limestone, and sandstone. Custom engraving optional. The city's most honest product.

Inspect

A 1.3 inch resistive touchscreen display embedded in the face of the Servedless unit. Renders all 1000 forms at full resolution across a surface area slightly larger than a postage stamp. Not ADA compliant. Not sorry about it. Requires a stylus that is not included. Font size is non-negotiable.

Inspect

A fingerprint and retinal scan module that verifies the identity of the person completing the forms before each submission. Confirms you are who the paperwork says you are. Resets if the scan fails three times. The reset takes 24 hours. The rock is still there during the reset.

Inspect

A 12-key manual input fallback for when biometric verification fails, is disputed, or the user simply prefers to enter a 47-digit confirmation code by hand. Keys are tactile. Spacing is adequate. Backspace exists but is smaller than the other keys.

Inspect

A ground-mounted locking bracket system that secures the Servedless boulder to the doorstep surface and prevents unauthorized relocation of the unit by hand, vehicle, or resolve. Rated for lateral forces up to and including desperation.

Inspect

no description

Inspect

Wireless internet access node. Broadcasts signal. Does not care about your download speed expectations.

Inspect
intangibles

A repository of 1000 fully customizable legal, administrative, and procedural forms rendered sequentially on the Servedless interface. Forms may be configured by the issuing authority for jurisdiction, case type, tone, and level of bureaucratic granularity. Completion of all forms is required before rock removal is authorized. Progress is saved. Motivation is not.

Inspect
Inputs
Outputs
TREE
AVAILABLE INPUTS
AVAILABLE OUTPUTS
  • comp_charge
  • comp_wifi
Schema
                            {
    "id": "tree_servedless",
    "name": "Servedless",
    "type": "tree",
    "inputs": [],
    "outputs": [],
    "passthru": [],
    "children": [
        "comp_giant_rock",
        "comp_tiny_screen",
        "comp_biometric_pad",
        "comp_keypad",
        "comp_door_anchor",
        "comp_battery",
        "comp_wifi",
        "intangible_form_library"
    ],
    "extends": null,
    "problem": "Eviction is a complicated legal process that does not feel complicated enough for the person being evicted.",
    "description": "Servedless is a legal eviction enforcement boulder deployed directly in front of the former occupant's door. The rock does not move until every required form is completed in full. All 1000 of them. The interface is biometric for identity verification and features a fully manual fallback input method on the smallest legally permissible non-ADA compliant screen available in the known universe. Forms are fully customizable by the issuing municipality, landlord, or grudge holder. The rock is not sorry. The rock does not negotiate. The rock has been here longer than the lease.",
    "template": "tree"
}

Universe Alpha