Boomer Ballet

Type: persona
Ecosystem House
Roman Candle
I've Fallen
Vote
QUOTE

"They'll never convert me over my dead body."


SPECIAL ABILITY

Never Dies


PREFERRED TOOL

Vote


PROBLEM

No more boot straps to pick up


SOLUTION

The Boomer Ballet enters the mountain via roman candle — launched at velocity from a prior era, landing perched at a considerable elevation through a combination of timing, tailwinds, and a housing market that no longer exists. It did not climb the mountain. It landed on it and immediately put up a fence. The house is the primary strategic asset and the central object of a competitive event in which other personas attempt to acquire it through attrition, policy, inheritance delay, and the slow geometric pressure of compound interest. The Boomer Ballet is not aware the competition is ongoing. It is buying something. It buys a great deal of things with genuine enthusiasm and negligible resistance to persuasion, making it the most commercially valuable persona in the universe and the easiest to deploy a digital trap against. It is the Greatness Triangle's favorite constituent and Gozillionaire's most reliable revenue source. It votes with the conviction of someone who has never considered that the vote could be aimed at them. It never dies. The quote is not ironic to the Boomer Ballet. That is the whole thing.

ecosystems

Ecosystems are groups of forests with a focus on the connections, functions and attributes of various intricate systems within its boundaries. Examples are a house, a closely connected integrated set of products, or a network sector. Use the fire alarm and some other examples in description. Whole house concepts and the applications of inputs and outputs, controlled environment.

Inspect
forests

The Roman Candle is the perfect self-contained human extreme habitat that provides a modular approach to providing resources the human needs, using the surrounding conditions as efficiently as possible. It starts as a Human Burrito as its core shaft, then adds natural aspiration, liquid cooling, stiffness, and other upgrades. The canopy doubles as a rain collection and storage apparatus to provide water pressure to tanks stored underground — keeping the resource protected, cool up top and cold underground. The base provides storage for energy, fuel and power, and houses the filters and root system that distributes the various resources to and from the main shaft. When anything dies or is thrown away it is shot out of the top stigmata of the building to rain back down into a cohesive closed loop system.

Inspect
trees

I've Fallen is a wearable emergency alert and fall detection system for operators who have reached an elevation in life where falling is a strategic risk rather than an inconvenience. The unit is worn around the neck or wrist, monitors for the specific kinematic signature of an uncontrolled descent event via a three-axis accelerometer and gyroscope, and dispatches an emergency alert to a pre-configured contact list and local emergency services within 8 seconds of detecting a fall that the operator has not self-recovered from. The operator can also press the large central button at any time to manually trigger the alert, which is useful in situations where the fall was successful but the subsequent being-on-the-floor portion is proving difficult to resolve. A two-way speaker allows the operator to communicate with the monitoring center while horizontal. The unit is waterproof to one meter because falls happen in bathrooms and everyone involved in the design of this product knows that and has agreed to acknowledge it by making the unit waterproof. Monthly subscription includes 24-hour monitoring, unlimited alerts, and a quarterly check-in call that the monitoring center makes whether or not the operator wants one.

Inspect
intangibles

The Vote is the atomic unit of democratic participation, a single expression of preference delivered into a system that aggregates it with all other expressions and produces an outcome that is binding on everyone including the people who did not express one. It costs nothing to cast. It cannot be transferred, sold, or delegated, though the conditions under which it is cast can be shaped considerably by anyone with enough resources and patience to do so. The Vote is most powerful in the hands of someone who understands that it is aimed at a system and not at a candidate, and least powerful in the hands of someone who casts it against their own interests with full conviction and a yard sign. It is the preferred tool of anyone who believes in the process, the preferred weapon of anyone who controls the process, and the preferred metric of anyone who is studying the process from a sufficient distance to find it fascinating. The Vote does not expire. It does not roll over. It does not accumulate. It resets. Every cycle it is exactly as powerful as it was the last time, which is either reassuring or exhausting depending on what happened last time.

Inspect
Inputs
Outputs
TREE
  •  Forest Kitchen
       - Speaker Spud
       - Furious Fridge
       - Royal Octopus
       - WiFi
  •  Forest Room
       - WFH Tree
       - Smart Nightstand
       - Bike Burrito
       - Selfie Spa
       - Speaker Spud
       - WiFi
       - Television
       - Fire Alarm
  •  Forest Yard
       - Speaker Spud
       - Blasting BBQ
  •  Fire Alarm
       - Speaker
  •  WiFi
  •  Charge
  •  Habitat Segment
  •  Natural Aspirator
  •  Canopy
  •  Underground Tank
  •  Root System
  •  Stigmata
  •  Fall Detector
  •  Emergency Button
  •  Two Way Speaker
  •  GPS Location
  •  Battery
AVAILABLE INPUTS
AVAILABLE OUTPUTS
  • comp_charge
  • comp_wifi
  • comp_fire_alarm
Schema
                            {
    "id": "persona_boomer_ballet",
    "name": "Boomer Ballet",
    "type": "persona",
    "inputs": [],
    "outputs": [],
    "passthru": [],
    "children": [
        "ecosystem_house",
        "forest_roman_candle",
        "tree_ive_fallen",
        "intangible_vote"
    ],
    "extends": null,
    "problem": "No more boot straps to pick up",
    "description": "The Boomer Ballet enters the mountain via roman candle \u2014 launched at velocity from a prior era, landing perched at a considerable elevation through a combination of timing, tailwinds, and a housing market that no longer exists. It did not climb the mountain. It landed on it and immediately put up a fence. The house is the primary strategic asset and the central object of a competitive event in which other personas attempt to acquire it through attrition, policy, inheritance delay, and the slow geometric pressure of compound interest. The Boomer Ballet is not aware the competition is ongoing. It is buying something. It buys a great deal of things with genuine enthusiasm and negligible resistance to persuasion, making it the most commercially valuable persona in the universe and the easiest to deploy a digital trap against. It is the Greatness Triangle's favorite constituent and Gozillionaire's most reliable revenue source. It votes with the conviction of someone who has never considered that the vote could be aimed at them. It never dies. The quote is not ironic to the Boomer Ballet. That is the whole thing.",
    "special_ability": "Never Dies",
    "preferred_tool": "Vote",
    "quote": "They'll never convert me over my dead body.",
    "needs": [
        "the house to appreciate",
        "a catalog to arrive",
        "the channel it recognizes",
        "someone to agree with it",
        "the mountain to stay the same"
    ],
    "wants": [
        "the kids to call more",
        "to not be manipulated, currently being manipulated",
        "a second property",
        "the roman candle back",
        "things to go back to how they were"
    ],
    "template": "persona"
}