Stop Bus $22,000

Type: tree | Size: medium
COMPONENTS
Bus Shelter
Heated Bench
Route Display
Solar Panel
Duct Tape
PROBLEM

Waiting for the bus is not fun.

SOLUTION

The Stop Bus is the bus stop that revolts. The humans inside the metal caskets on wheels have climate control, seating, and a reasonable expectation of surviving their commute in moderate comfort. The humans outside on the pavement have a sign on a pole and whatever weather the municipality ordered that day. The Stop Bus addresses this imbalance by proposing a sheltered, climate-assisted, actually survivable transit waiting environment equipped with seating, overhead protection, route information, and a heating and cooling system calibrated to the local conditions. It is a good idea. It does not exist. It does not exist because if you build a comfortable place for a human to sit and stay warm and dry, a human who needs a comfortable place to sit and stay warm and dry will sit there. The municipality has determined that this outcome is unacceptable and has designed accordingly. The Stop Bus remains in the taxonomy as a document of what a bus stop could be if the design brief were written by someone who wanted people to use it rather than someone who wanted people to not be able to sleep there. The $22,000 unit cost is theoretical. The hostile spikes that replaced it were cheaper.

components

Overhead structural panel providing precipitation and direct sun protection to humans waiting at a transit stop. Straightforward. Effective. Not installed in most locations because it would also protect a sleeping human, which is apparently the use case that ends the conversation.

Inspect

Climate-assisted seating surface providing radiant heat output calibrated to ambient temperature, enabling human occupants to wait for the bus without their body temperature becoming a variable. Divided into individual seat pods with center armrests installed at the precise interval required to prevent a human from lying down, which is the only design requirement the municipality cared about.

Inspect

Real-time transit schedule display showing current route status, next arrival time, and service alerts for all lines serving the stop. The bus is late. The display confirms this accurately and in real time, which is either helpful or a unique form of cruelty depending on how long you have been standing outside.

Inspect

A photovoltaic collection surface that converts ambient sunlight into usable electrical energy. Powers the Pro tier motor, the recycler, and whatever else needs electrons. Works best outdoors, which is exactly where this product lives.

Inspect

No confirmed uses. Automagically instantiated at every recursive loop.

Inspect
Inputs
Outputs
TREE
AVAILABLE INPUTS
AVAILABLE OUTPUTS
  • comp_charge
Schema
                            {
    "id": "tree_stop_bus",
    "name": "Stop Bus",
    "type": "tree",
    "inputs": [],
    "outputs": [],
    "passthru": [],
    "children": [
        "comp_bus_shelter",
        "comp_heated_bench",
        "comp_route_display",
        "comp_solar_panel",
        "comp_duct_tape"
    ],
    "extends": null,
    "price": "22,000",
    "size": "medium",
    "problem": "Waiting for the bus is not fun.",
    "description": "The Stop Bus is the bus stop that revolts. The humans inside the metal caskets on wheels have climate control, seating, and a reasonable expectation of surviving their commute in moderate comfort. The humans outside on the pavement have a sign on a pole and whatever weather the municipality ordered that day. The Stop Bus addresses this imbalance by proposing a sheltered, climate-assisted, actually survivable transit waiting environment equipped with seating, overhead protection, route information, and a heating and cooling system calibrated to the local conditions. It is a good idea. It does not exist. It does not exist because if you build a comfortable place for a human to sit and stay warm and dry, a human who needs a comfortable place to sit and stay warm and dry will sit there. The municipality has determined that this outcome is unacceptable and has designed accordingly. The Stop Bus remains in the taxonomy as a document of what a bus stop could be if the design brief were written by someone who wanted people to use it rather than someone who wanted people to not be able to sleep there. The $22,000 unit cost is theoretical. The hostile spikes that replaced it were cheaper.",
    "template": "tree"
}

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