Mount Tau $333,000,000

PROBLEM

Humans need to fall in love.

SOLUTION

Mount Tau is the ultimate dating challenge and the only mountain in the MTREES universe where every persona competes simultaneously. The Longhairs, the Machos, the Baked Turnkey, the Rebel, the Scientist, the Entitled Emu, the Boomer Ballet, the Gozillionaire, Ron Justin, the Knocked Off, the Greatness Triangle — all of them are on the mountain, all of them are trying, and none of them fully understand the rules. The Longhairs deploy the Cheezeburger in Paradise diet, the Selfie Spa, and the Selfie Stick as their primary attraction arsenal. The Machos counter with the Anti Gravity Chair and the J.O.G. for peak dimensional presentation. The Scientist has run the compatibility numbers. The Entitled Emu has the correct gown. Gozillionaire is attempting to purchase the summit outright. Ron Justin is filing a report from the mid-mountain safe zone. The Boomer Ballet has owned property here since the mountain opened. The Monster is present on every tier in the form of every date that goes nowhere, every miscommunication, every moment where both humans were trying and neither said the true thing. The dating route spans the full elevation, requiring contestants to complete an uncountable sequence of dates at each tier before the path to the next level unlocks. None shall pass without clearing the checkpoint. The mountain has been climbed before by a Visitor with a pencil and very little else going for it except showing up. That turned out to be enough. Maybe they should just get to know each other.